Before getting married, I set a budget on how much we should spent and we went for it. I never wanted a grand wedding, never liked them and since my mother was no longer around, it defeats the purpose of having one. So we agreed on a ROMM 'Akad Nikah' and a small 'kenduri' (feast) for our close family members.
I have to admit, temptation was vast and everywhere. Despite telling only a few key people, things always pop up, do I want this, do we want that, can we afford this. Fortunately the husband was at hand to always remind me to keep it simple.
Alhamdullillah, we manage to nail it on target, I even manage to splurge a little on henna, make up and outfits with the 'Akad Nikah' going smoothly.
Of course we had friends who were disgruntled that they were not invited on our special day. To date we are still not speaking unfortunately, but, if you think you were special, what about my childhood friend? What about the buddy who was there for me? What about this person who founded my career? If I invite 1, I would have to invite the other 5. So who is special and who is not?
And then when we had our kenduri, we had people questioning why did we had it after 'Maghrib', why not earlier? Why this? Why that? How come I don't have this? Or that? It took a lot out of me to not respond and be as gracious as possible. To clarify, we chose Saturday, after 'Maghrib' because it was the weekend, and some people still had to work in the day, so we pushed it back to accommodate as many as we could.
At the end of the day, I was always reminded by my husband - we never took a single penny from anyone to fund our marriage, nor did we beg for money. We make do with what we had and we never asked for more. People can make so many comments but it is not like they were paying for the event anyway. We fulfil our deed and thats what matters most. So at the end of the day, it was never between them and us and BUT us and Him. We do within our means, not over the budget and not having to start marriage life, berhutang (in debts).
Objective secured - and we never look back. Do what you can, within means. Don't have to do a grand wedding just because you're embarrassed to not keep up with the times. Ask yourself, as you check your credit card bills, will there be anyone asking you, "How are you managing? Do you need help?"
Remember, "Tabiat membazir adalah saudara syaitan." So keep it within your means and start marriage with positivity. In sha Allah.. Hingga ke Jannah. Amin..