Friday, November 07, 2014

.50gcm Thyroxine


Remember for many posts or for many months (or tweets) I have been whining about my weight and how unhappy I am?

Well, guess what? On Wednesday I finally manage to see Dr. Yeoh a thyroid specialist based at Gleneagles and obviously she came highly recommended. I had to wait for a couple of months before I could finally see her, and even on my appointment day I had to wait an additional 3 hours before she was available.

When I sat down with her, I spoke about my concerns. How I gained over 15kg in 3 months since February and that I couldn't seem to shed any weight despite cutting down on my food or exercising. I was also having irregular menses and very often full of clots. I would have 10-15 days of menses, with about 3-5 days of break and it would continue again. Obviously I cried. Because it was so tiring to talk to people about my concerns and people were just telling me that I'm lazy or greedy. I'm not. I'm hardworking. My mom raised me well. But I was at a stage where I was just too tired, depressed and just feeling so fat.

There were additional symptoms that I had often brushed off because I thought it was part of life, turns out it was symptoms that I was hypo. Turns out my first and second doctor was wrong, Hashimoto Hypothyroid does not just disappear. It will always be there. WHILE I am within range I am not in the right range.

We break down my results and how I was too high on my TSH and too low on my T4. While we can't get exact number on the TSH and T4, it is crucial to be just right. Did you know that if my TSH were too high, and I am expecting, my child would have low IQ? How screwed up am I as a mother for not even attempting to provide for my child?

So we took a blood test, and she placed me on .50gcm of Euthyrox for 6 weeks and we will monitor again. Previously (A year ago) I was already on .25 so now I am on .50gcm and in 2 days I have lost .05kg. I know I know - you guys are going, "Sooooo?" But hey! It is such a different! I could even lose .01kg previously! So this was such a great feeling no doubt.

Another thing I notice once I was on Thyroxine was that my hair became softer and much manageable. I had a bit of headache on my first day and I was feeling extremely lethargic but I seemed to fare better on my second day.

Honestly I can't wait to continue with this doctor and see what's next. Hopefully I get to increase my T4 and decrease my TSH. The only thing I dislike is my 4 x 4. I can't eat any dairy products 4 hours before and 4 hours after my medication. Bleargh. There goes my coffee session in the morning.

So please.. A prayer that I go through this with ease. Seriously thyroid problems is not something I wish upon my worse enemy. It is not easy to manage, you are on medication for the rest of your life and symptoms are disregards. Please do see a doctor if you are displaying thyroid symptoms. If you continue to worry, seek a second opinion or even better, go see a specialist.

I know I'm glad I did.

Monday, October 27, 2014

A Fallen Star


An ex-colleague, Mohd Hardy from St James Powerstation passed away on Saturday, 25th October 2014 leaving behind his loving wife Maya and 2 beautiful daughters. I'm not quite sure the details of his accident but to the extent of my knowledge he was involved in a horrific bike accident somewhere along the highway.

Deaths always saddens me, especially the sudden ones. That your life has been taken from you and you did not manage to do your final farewells. It always saddens me and always without fail reminds me of my mother's.

I did not had the opportunity to say goodbye to her. Suddenly on Monday morning I was told she had passed away. My brother and myself had visited on Sunday morning and she seemed well. I wanted to take a picture with her but changed my mind. She reminded me to bring extra pillows and a can of coke for her. Before I left, she said, "No matter what happens, remember I love you both very much." I snorted, smile and replied, "Ya ya.. we too."

I wish I could turned back time, because if I could I would want to say it properly to her. Take a nice picture. Heck I would have done so much more to ensure that I could spend more time with her. So I told Maya to grieve. Start a blog. Start a wordpress. Whatever. Just blog about Hardy and her memories of him. For her and for her children.

Deaths are not easy to handle, and a support system is always much needed. I spent the night alone on the first night of my mother's death. My relatives who were supposedly my support system were not there. However I had Titanium, Bobbie and Amanda who spent the night. It was comforting to know that to some extent. I was not alone.

So dear Maya, I pray and hope that Hardy will be resting amongst the righteous and pious ones. May he finally found peace. I pray and hope that you shall stay strong for your children, and may He always protects you from harm.

Rest in peace Hardy, thank you for being such a beautiful colleague and friend.

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Life's Little Treasures


I don't quite understand the world anymore. Well more of the people than anything else. Maybe everyone has pretty much gone quite mad. 

I've always a profound respect for life. Mother Nature and her work. Love. The crazy sensations that you have everyday. I love every single bit of life's treasures and yes.. That include the bad ones. But I guess I don't understand people anymore. 

My mother passed away in April 2013, and early in the month of October 2014 I received news that my father has passed away. Now.. I was never closed to any of them. I was raised by 2 grandmothers and they were both equally strict. I learnt manners from young and I understood that if I want to be crappy, I do it outside. Out of mind and out of sight. And don't bring it back home because if my thrashy behavior made news outside, I would be greeting the cane. I never take more than I should and no matter how angry I get, I would never forget my thanks. 

Which is why I don't understand people these days. Have everyone just lost their minds and forget their manners? No one says hello anymore, or farewell. Greetings are sacred.. Or perhaps a thing of the past. People no longer shook hands but Facebook IDs. Co-habitation is common ground and no one says a thing and parents they look the other way when their children have done wrong. 

Have I missed the memo? 

What ever happened to manners? Courtesy? What ever happened to asking  a girl's parent's permission before asking her out? What ever happened to taking care of your family? Are they becoming extinct? 

Seems like the more smarter people get.. The more stupider they become. 

I pray that my children would never suffer such fate. I pray that I will remember to teach them manners and they will instill it in their hearts and souls. I pray that they will remember to be grateful and give their thanks.. And most of all.. I hope they don't forget life and all its treasures. 




.50gcm Thyroxine


Remember for many posts or for many months (or tweets) I have been whining about my weight and how unhappy I am?

Well, guess what? On Wednesday I finally manage to see Dr. Yeoh a thyroid specialist based at Gleneagles and obviously she came highly recommended. I had to wait for a couple of months before I could finally see her, and even on my appointment day I had to wait an additional 3 hours before she was available.

When I sat down with her, I spoke about my concerns. How I gained over 15kg in 3 months since February and that I couldn't seem to shed any weight despite cutting down on my food or exercising. I was also having irregular menses and very often full of clots. I would have 10-15 days of menses, with about 3-5 days of break and it would continue again. Obviously I cried. Because it was so tiring to talk to people about my concerns and people were just telling me that I'm lazy or greedy. I'm not. I'm hardworking. My mom raised me well. But I was at a stage where I was just too tired, depressed and just feeling so fat.

There were additional symptoms that I had often brushed off because I thought it was part of life, turns out it was symptoms that I was hypo. Turns out my first and second doctor was wrong, Hashimoto Hypothyroid does not just disappear. It will always be there. WHILE I am within range I am not in the right range.

We break down my results and how I was too high on my TSH and too low on my T4. While we can't get exact number on the TSH and T4, it is crucial to be just right. Did you know that if my TSH were too high, and I am expecting, my child would have low IQ? How screwed up am I as a mother for not even attempting to provide for my child?

So we took a blood test, and she placed me on .50gcm of Euthyrox for 6 weeks and we will monitor again. Previously (A year ago) I was already on .25 so now I am on .50gcm and in 2 days I have lost .05kg. I know I know - you guys are going, "Sooooo?" But hey! It is such a different! I could even lose .01kg previously! So this was such a great feeling no doubt.

Another thing I notice once I was on Thyroxine was that my hair became softer and much manageable. I had a bit of headache on my first day and I was feeling extremely lethargic but I seemed to fare better on my second day.

Honestly I can't wait to continue with this doctor and see what's next. Hopefully I get to increase my T4 and decrease my TSH. The only thing I dislike is my 4 x 4. I can't eat any dairy products 4 hours before and 4 hours after my medication. Bleargh. There goes my coffee session in the morning.

So please.. A prayer that I go through this with ease. Seriously thyroid problems is not something I wish upon my worse enemy. It is not easy to manage, you are on medication for the rest of your life and symptoms are disregards. Please do see a doctor if you are displaying thyroid symptoms. If you continue to worry, seek a second opinion or even better, go see a specialist.

I know I'm glad I did.

A Fallen Star


An ex-colleague, Mohd Hardy from St James Powerstation passed away on Saturday, 25th October 2014 leaving behind his loving wife Maya and 2 beautiful daughters. I'm not quite sure the details of his accident but to the extent of my knowledge he was involved in a horrific bike accident somewhere along the highway.

Deaths always saddens me, especially the sudden ones. That your life has been taken from you and you did not manage to do your final farewells. It always saddens me and always without fail reminds me of my mother's.

I did not had the opportunity to say goodbye to her. Suddenly on Monday morning I was told she had passed away. My brother and myself had visited on Sunday morning and she seemed well. I wanted to take a picture with her but changed my mind. She reminded me to bring extra pillows and a can of coke for her. Before I left, she said, "No matter what happens, remember I love you both very much." I snorted, smile and replied, "Ya ya.. we too."

I wish I could turned back time, because if I could I would want to say it properly to her. Take a nice picture. Heck I would have done so much more to ensure that I could spend more time with her. So I told Maya to grieve. Start a blog. Start a wordpress. Whatever. Just blog about Hardy and her memories of him. For her and for her children.

Deaths are not easy to handle, and a support system is always much needed. I spent the night alone on the first night of my mother's death. My relatives who were supposedly my support system were not there. However I had Titanium, Bobbie and Amanda who spent the night. It was comforting to know that to some extent. I was not alone.

So dear Maya, I pray and hope that Hardy will be resting amongst the righteous and pious ones. May he finally found peace. I pray and hope that you shall stay strong for your children, and may He always protects you from harm.

Rest in peace Hardy, thank you for being such a beautiful colleague and friend.

Life's Little Treasures


I don't quite understand the world anymore. Well more of the people than anything else. Maybe everyone has pretty much gone quite mad. 

I've always a profound respect for life. Mother Nature and her work. Love. The crazy sensations that you have everyday. I love every single bit of life's treasures and yes.. That include the bad ones. But I guess I don't understand people anymore. 

My mother passed away in April 2013, and early in the month of October 2014 I received news that my father has passed away. Now.. I was never closed to any of them. I was raised by 2 grandmothers and they were both equally strict. I learnt manners from young and I understood that if I want to be crappy, I do it outside. Out of mind and out of sight. And don't bring it back home because if my thrashy behavior made news outside, I would be greeting the cane. I never take more than I should and no matter how angry I get, I would never forget my thanks. 

Which is why I don't understand people these days. Have everyone just lost their minds and forget their manners? No one says hello anymore, or farewell. Greetings are sacred.. Or perhaps a thing of the past. People no longer shook hands but Facebook IDs. Co-habitation is common ground and no one says a thing and parents they look the other way when their children have done wrong. 

Have I missed the memo? 

What ever happened to manners? Courtesy? What ever happened to asking  a girl's parent's permission before asking her out? What ever happened to taking care of your family? Are they becoming extinct? 

Seems like the more smarter people get.. The more stupider they become. 

I pray that my children would never suffer such fate. I pray that I will remember to teach them manners and they will instill it in their hearts and souls. I pray that they will remember to be grateful and give their thanks.. And most of all.. I hope they don't forget life and all its treasures.