Friday, May 22, 2015

Dear Mr P

And I will dedicate this post to you.. Mr Pendek

Dear Mr P, 

It has been so long since we've met, and truly from the bottom of my heart. I've always wish you the best of health, and may you finally found the love you've been searching for all your life. 

There's been anger between us, there's been hurt, it has been 15 years but the anger is still there. I guess whoever said, time heals all wound was not exactly getting it right were they? 

When you were fussing about how Kak Su and myself were gossiping about the past, I couldn't help but be annoyed. Maybe you hated the past, but the past defines us, the past made us who we are today. Some lessons left little to be desired while some, their weight cannot be measured, even in gold. 

We are all victims in the game of love. We all are. You were not the only one hurt in this game. I was. Kak Su was. Many were. 

I was only 19 when this whole thing came into light. Imagine. My first "real" relationship, and a year later, discovering it was not as "real" as I had thought it would be. Can you imagine, how I looked at relationships after? How much I distrust relationships? You were after all the first benchmark. So no.. You were not the only one hurt in this game of love: We all were.

Today, when Ayeesha called you, Kak Su, left the room. The conversation was too much for her to handle, I suppose. I look at Ayeesha, a child who at her age was not playing or conversing with her father, instead relying on strangers' handouts of love and I felt sadness. Sheer sadness. If it wasn't because I am suppose to be working, I would have left the room too. Her sad implorations were too much for anyone to handle. 

You send me a text a day back, asking if I was done "making things up". 

I never made anything up. What I said was the truth, unless you chose to deny it. 

Was it not true, we met at HRC, you asked for my number and I said no, and you followed us to Newton Circus. Was it not you who insisted for my number, especially if you could walk a straight line? Was it not you, who called, who insisted on coming by to Tampines, day after day to meet me? Was it not you, who picked me up from Pasir Ris for a date to watch some Chinese horror flick at the old Cathay? Was it not you who waited at the MS building at 1999-2000 time period? 

Quick to forget, even quicker to deny. 

Did you forget that you said to Bambina A and her husband, how you wished your life was as blissful as theirs? And how unhappy you were? Did you forget you said all these and more? 

But truly, while there were anger and sadness, I don't hate you and most of all, neither do I want to see you wandering lost and all. 

If you feel that you have found the love of your life, we all wish you well. All of us. Even me, the girl from 15 years ago. The nerd. The chick who wants to be hardcore but can't. The girl who imagines of romance and sunsets. The same girl. 

All of us wish you well. 

But please, don't hurt anymore people. Let your family move on, let them go. And you.. Go on with your new love. Your new life. You go ahead and settled down with her somewhere. I still remember, years ago, you said that the best kind of life, is being away from the city. Being carefree with no worries in the world. 

So go get your dream, with your dream girl, but let the people who truly loves you, your children, Kak Su, go in peace. Let them go after their dreams too. They deserve that just as you do. 

Once in a while, come back and say hello to the city. 

Because you know, the city may be bright. Maybe noisy, but it is home to most of us, especially the ones who had believed in you, had loved you, and perhaps still have not given up: Your family. 
















Thursday, April 02, 2015

Happy Birthday Mak...


Today you would have been 67 years old. 

Since you've passed, many things have happened. Although, many what you've predicted came true, albeit I never imagined it would. 

You told me to watch out for people who will genuinely care for you and be there, supporting you morally and emotionally. For they are the same people who cared for you when you were down. I found one next door, same floor and another one a few blocks away. 

You told me to watch over the house and keep it safe. Many will come for monetary sake, and that will cost discord between relationships. How true. One came, and the whole world comes tumbling down. Every day I worry about this, if I am able to keep it up. In sha Allah.. I shall try. 

You told me to keep my head up high and don't work so hard. Instead think about my other worldly affairs. Slowly, and hopefully.. I am trying. 

There are many things you've said, which I always try to practise and do. Some days I forget, some days I remember a few, but not a day passed by without me missing you and think of you. 

Happy birthday Mom.. 

Semoga Mak digolongkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, semoga Allah S.W.T mencucuri rahmat keatas roh Mak, semoga diampuni dosa-dosanya, diterima amal baiknya... Amin.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

OG 2015 Private Sale


So, my auntie brought me to attend OG 2015 Private Sale for the past 2 days. I'm not kidding. I actually hit Orchard Road before the sun even rise and join the super duper long queue. Again. I'm not kidding on the super duper long queue. But then again with a storewide of 20% and additional 10% for OG card members I was not surprised. 



It was so hilarious at how 'kiasu' Singaporeans are when it comes to sales. Everyone was prepped, so prepped that if we were to go to war, I know we are equally adept. Everyone brought bottled water, newspapers, umbrellas and even foldable chairs.

Geared in shoes and comfortable clothing, make up free, everyone was set to rush in once the doors open at 9.30am. Once the doors open, all hell breaks loose. I swear, it was a mad rush for everything. People running, grabbing, stealing, yelling, shrieks of "I saw it first!" could be heard across the halls. 

And I thought I was a professional shopaholic. 




Second round was less exhausting since this time my cousin Leha tagged along. Yes, with her broken leg. We designated her to be the person who would guard our hauls. My aunt even bought her neighbours so that we can grabbed more things. 




I decided to grab supplements as well as Manuka Honey since it is good for my lungs. I've been taking Manuka since my asthma and it has been working out well for me. I take a tablespoon with hot water and down it. I can't remember why, but I read that Manuka Honey is a good booster for your lungs especially when you're down with asthma and all. And at SGD$138, I was not passing it at all. :) I got 2 bottles so I can pass to my MIL one jar as well since she's not exactly strong, chest wise.

Second day was better. We were pretty front in line compared to the day before. But still, just look at the crazy long queue. LOOK! But would I go again for this kind of sale? Yes I would, it was really fun and exciting! Haha.. I mean sure, I stepped on many aunties' shoes, knocked over many, glared at random strangers for eyeing my bags. But yes, I would go again if my Cik Namah decides to bring me along. And next time, I am ready. Much more ready than this time. ;)


I am throwing a photo of me in my cousin's Leha dress. 15 years ago had you tell me that I can fit into her dress I would laugh it off, but guess what? #lookbelow 

Dear Mr P

And I will dedicate this post to you.. Mr Pendek

Dear Mr P, 

It has been so long since we've met, and truly from the bottom of my heart. I've always wish you the best of health, and may you finally found the love you've been searching for all your life. 

There's been anger between us, there's been hurt, it has been 15 years but the anger is still there. I guess whoever said, time heals all wound was not exactly getting it right were they? 

When you were fussing about how Kak Su and myself were gossiping about the past, I couldn't help but be annoyed. Maybe you hated the past, but the past defines us, the past made us who we are today. Some lessons left little to be desired while some, their weight cannot be measured, even in gold. 

We are all victims in the game of love. We all are. You were not the only one hurt in this game. I was. Kak Su was. Many were. 

I was only 19 when this whole thing came into light. Imagine. My first "real" relationship, and a year later, discovering it was not as "real" as I had thought it would be. Can you imagine, how I looked at relationships after? How much I distrust relationships? You were after all the first benchmark. So no.. You were not the only one hurt in this game of love: We all were.

Today, when Ayeesha called you, Kak Su, left the room. The conversation was too much for her to handle, I suppose. I look at Ayeesha, a child who at her age was not playing or conversing with her father, instead relying on strangers' handouts of love and I felt sadness. Sheer sadness. If it wasn't because I am suppose to be working, I would have left the room too. Her sad implorations were too much for anyone to handle. 

You send me a text a day back, asking if I was done "making things up". 

I never made anything up. What I said was the truth, unless you chose to deny it. 

Was it not true, we met at HRC, you asked for my number and I said no, and you followed us to Newton Circus. Was it not you who insisted for my number, especially if you could walk a straight line? Was it not you, who called, who insisted on coming by to Tampines, day after day to meet me? Was it not you, who picked me up from Pasir Ris for a date to watch some Chinese horror flick at the old Cathay? Was it not you who waited at the MS building at 1999-2000 time period? 

Quick to forget, even quicker to deny. 

Did you forget that you said to Bambina A and her husband, how you wished your life was as blissful as theirs? And how unhappy you were? Did you forget you said all these and more? 

But truly, while there were anger and sadness, I don't hate you and most of all, neither do I want to see you wandering lost and all. 

If you feel that you have found the love of your life, we all wish you well. All of us. Even me, the girl from 15 years ago. The nerd. The chick who wants to be hardcore but can't. The girl who imagines of romance and sunsets. The same girl. 

All of us wish you well. 

But please, don't hurt anymore people. Let your family move on, let them go. And you.. Go on with your new love. Your new life. You go ahead and settled down with her somewhere. I still remember, years ago, you said that the best kind of life, is being away from the city. Being carefree with no worries in the world. 

So go get your dream, with your dream girl, but let the people who truly loves you, your children, Kak Su, go in peace. Let them go after their dreams too. They deserve that just as you do. 

Once in a while, come back and say hello to the city. 

Because you know, the city may be bright. Maybe noisy, but it is home to most of us, especially the ones who had believed in you, had loved you, and perhaps still have not given up: Your family. 
















Happy Birthday Mak...


Today you would have been 67 years old. 

Since you've passed, many things have happened. Although, many what you've predicted came true, albeit I never imagined it would. 

You told me to watch out for people who will genuinely care for you and be there, supporting you morally and emotionally. For they are the same people who cared for you when you were down. I found one next door, same floor and another one a few blocks away. 

You told me to watch over the house and keep it safe. Many will come for monetary sake, and that will cost discord between relationships. How true. One came, and the whole world comes tumbling down. Every day I worry about this, if I am able to keep it up. In sha Allah.. I shall try. 

You told me to keep my head up high and don't work so hard. Instead think about my other worldly affairs. Slowly, and hopefully.. I am trying. 

There are many things you've said, which I always try to practise and do. Some days I forget, some days I remember a few, but not a day passed by without me missing you and think of you. 

Happy birthday Mom.. 

Semoga Mak digolongkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, semoga Allah S.W.T mencucuri rahmat keatas roh Mak, semoga diampuni dosa-dosanya, diterima amal baiknya... Amin.

OG 2015 Private Sale


So, my auntie brought me to attend OG 2015 Private Sale for the past 2 days. I'm not kidding. I actually hit Orchard Road before the sun even rise and join the super duper long queue. Again. I'm not kidding on the super duper long queue. But then again with a storewide of 20% and additional 10% for OG card members I was not surprised. 



It was so hilarious at how 'kiasu' Singaporeans are when it comes to sales. Everyone was prepped, so prepped that if we were to go to war, I know we are equally adept. Everyone brought bottled water, newspapers, umbrellas and even foldable chairs.

Geared in shoes and comfortable clothing, make up free, everyone was set to rush in once the doors open at 9.30am. Once the doors open, all hell breaks loose. I swear, it was a mad rush for everything. People running, grabbing, stealing, yelling, shrieks of "I saw it first!" could be heard across the halls. 

And I thought I was a professional shopaholic. 




Second round was less exhausting since this time my cousin Leha tagged along. Yes, with her broken leg. We designated her to be the person who would guard our hauls. My aunt even bought her neighbours so that we can grabbed more things. 




I decided to grab supplements as well as Manuka Honey since it is good for my lungs. I've been taking Manuka since my asthma and it has been working out well for me. I take a tablespoon with hot water and down it. I can't remember why, but I read that Manuka Honey is a good booster for your lungs especially when you're down with asthma and all. And at SGD$138, I was not passing it at all. :) I got 2 bottles so I can pass to my MIL one jar as well since she's not exactly strong, chest wise.

Second day was better. We were pretty front in line compared to the day before. But still, just look at the crazy long queue. LOOK! But would I go again for this kind of sale? Yes I would, it was really fun and exciting! Haha.. I mean sure, I stepped on many aunties' shoes, knocked over many, glared at random strangers for eyeing my bags. But yes, I would go again if my Cik Namah decides to bring me along. And next time, I am ready. Much more ready than this time. ;)


I am throwing a photo of me in my cousin's Leha dress. 15 years ago had you tell me that I can fit into her dress I would laugh it off, but guess what? #lookbelow