Sunday, October 05, 2014

Life's Little Treasures

I don't quite understand the world anymore. Well more of the people than anything else. Maybe everyone has pretty much gone quite mad. 

I've always a profound respect for life. Mother Nature and her work. Love. The crazy sensations that you have everyday. I love every single bit of life's treasures and yes.. That include the bad ones. But I guess I don't understand people anymore. 

My mother passed away in April 2013, and early in the month of October 2014 I received news that my father has passed away. Now.. I was never closed to any of them. I was raised by 2 grandmothers and they were both equally strict. I learnt manners from young and I understood that if I want to be crappy, I do it outside. Out of mind and out of sight. And don't bring it back home because if my thrashy behavior made news outside, I would be greeting the cane. I never take more than I should and no matter how angry I get, I would never forget my thanks. 

Which is why I don't understand people these days. Have everyone just lost their minds and forget their manners? No one says hello anymore, or farewell. Greetings are sacred.. Or perhaps a thing of the past. People no longer shook hands but Facebook IDs. Co-habitation is common ground and no one says a thing and parents they look the other way when their children have done wrong. 

Have I missed the memo? 

What ever happened to manners? Courtesy? What ever happened to asking  a girl's parent's permission before asking her out? What ever happened to taking care of your family? Are they becoming extinct? 

Seems like the more smarter people get.. The more stupider they become. 

I pray that my children would never suffer such fate. I pray that I will remember to teach them manners and they will instill it in their hearts and souls. I pray that they will remember to be grateful and give their thanks.. And most of all.. I hope they don't forget life and all its treasures. 

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Farewell Father..

The last time I spoke to my father was 13 years ago. He had just recovered from a stroke and I visited him. I was curious about the man who had never visited my mother and his children. I wanted to know the man behind the name. When I received news that he was sick and that I could visit him if I wanted to, I went. I didn't have much expectations. I wasn't there to ask him for money or favours, I just wanted to say 'Hello. Hi' to the man who was the reason for my existence.

When we were finally introduce, I peered hard at the man, whom my mother said I bore a strong resemblance to. I failed to see any. He was bony and dark skinned, and I was his opposite. He was a man of few words and he looks frail as he stood before me. We said hello, I shook his hands and we sat down. He asked about me. If I remembered him. It was awkward, I didn't know what to say and I wasn't sure where to begin. We made plans for my upcoming 20th birthday, my school, we spoke of my mother, the future but very little of the past. He said, "Let the past remain in the past."

Before we part ways, he reminded me to take care of my mother where he had failed. He told me he would call me on my birthday to meet him for lunch. I never saw him again after that. The call never came. It was as if he disappeared from the face of the earth. There were no calls, no letters. There was nothing. Every year on my birthday afterwards I would open the letterbox hoping for a card or a letter. Most times the emptiness of the postbox stared blankly back at me.

I received news this morning that he had passed away. I wasn't sure much of the details, how he died, when he died, did he suffered before, or was he alone when death came. Frankly I was not sure how to feel. We never had any connections before and suddenly, on 2 October, at 8.30am I was told that my father had passed away. When I ended the call, I cried for the father I never had.

I never knew what it was like to have a father in my life. I never knew him. I don't know what was his favourite colour or his favourite food. I don't know if he prefer cold or warm weathers, if Monday was his favourite day of the week. I don't know if he like spicy food, or if he like corned beef and eggs like me. There are questions to ask but I supposed the opportunities are gone now.

So, my dear father, I hope you had led a colourful life. I hope you found love and happiness that you have been craving for all these years. I hope you did not suffered much in your later years, I hope you were not alone on your deathbed and I hope.. That during your lifetime, you had thought of me at least once.

Farewell to the man who I wished had played a bigger role in my life. May your soul rest amongst the righteous and pious ones.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Its All 'Bout The Bass...

I cannot even begin how much I hate being fat. Standing at the weighing machine today, I came in at 76.8kg. For my height of 1.67m, that's grossly overweight. Not like I'm eating crazily, stuffing my face at every chance I've got. I don't eat more than 3 meals a day, or 5 small meals. And yet I continue to pile on the weight and I am getting very frustrated.

I was diagnosed with Hashimoto Hypothyroid a couple of years back and it was relatively under control until a few months ago when it went all haywire. Can you imagine, from a relatively ok weight of 60kg I went spiralling up to over 70kg all within a span of 3 months? While I was always a foodie, to suddenly take on this weight was just so surprising to me that I can't help but feel depressed.

I took a blood test recently and my TS4 came back within range. However, I've had people telling me that I should be taking both TS4 and TS3 because sometimes you can't convert T3 to T4 very well. It's all rather confusing so I am quite determined to go back to the doctor and have another charge at my blood test. Another blogger recommended that I quit gluten all together now that is just sheer impossible. Coming from a country where gluten is a staple diet, one can't help but to include that in the daily diet.

It is depressing and I am not kidding. I understood how fat people feel and my sympathies are with them. Even body positivity songs are not really cheering me up. While I'm not striving to be a size 2 I would like to go back to a 10 please and that's all that matters to me now. Call me vain, whatever. You're not the one piling on the pounds.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Jamu Slim Wrap Challenge

How was my first Jamu Slim Wrap‬ treatment?

My appointment was at 6pm, so once I got there, I changed and waited in the room. Room was comfortable and cosy, and there were scents of lemongrass and ginger (both my favourite scents) filling the room.

Shuhaila Subari came into the room and proceeded to explain the whole procedure, and me being a noob asked 101 questions. I've never done this before, so I have a lot to ask. She poked around my body and commented that I have a bad digestive system, which I've never told anyone. The last time someone told me this was 3 years ago in Thailand. I've plenty of wind and water retention and my fats are pretty much harden. Oh dear. That's kinda depressing to know.

We got started after that. She applied a paste on my whole body. This paste is exclusive only to Spa Le' Kraton. The only ingredient she would reveal: 'Lengkuas Putih'. The rest, a secret. After the paste was applied, she wrapped me up and I lay waiting. Initially, to be honest, I didn't feel anything. But after 3 minutes, it was heating up. I can feel certain areas really heating up. A good kind of warmth though. Literally I was perspiring, drops of perspiration were just trickling. The air con which was cooling at first, was lost on me. 

My bed awaits me at Spa Le Kraton. Very cosy room room and the wafts of ginger and lemongrass lightly scented the room. After an hour of the treatment, she came in, enquired about which areas heated up first and explained the reasons. An assistant served me ginger tea and I showered. It was a really rejuvenating experience. For my first attempt, I really had a wonderful time!

Did I lose any weight? Honestly its hard to tell since its my first attempt. But when I put on my skinny jeans, it did felt looser around the thighs area. I got home measured my waist and there was a 0.5cm difference. I do not know if the weight lost was due to water or air. But one can't help but to feel a sense of hope. I was advice to come back on Saturday for another round of treatment. I'm really excited if you asked me. Of course for a moment I did wonder if I can do this at home by myself. 

Service is always wonderful and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. If this does work, I am signing on board, full time. Heck, I rather pay good money on weight loss than IPL my hair. Screw the hairiness, wax on wax off!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Old Times.. Bring it On (Part I)

Since Hunn was in reservist for two weeks I thought I go catch up with friends and have a meet up. I know I know, I shouldn't be waiting for his reservist before meeting friends right but I find it easier to accommodate people these way. I can stay out later if I want to, and I can go anywhere I want to.

So I kicked off today meeting Herman for dinner. It has been a good 10 over years since I last saw him. Ok I think I exaggerated that part. Somewhat 10 years, and boy it was so nice to see him again. Because I'm fasting today, we couldn't hit the coffee joints so we window shop and walked around town until it was time for me to break fast. It was a little trickier since I've been keen to only eat Halal certified food lately. Not that I've been consuming pork or weird stuff, but it would be nice to go back to the right path and move forward in life right?

So after contemplating for over an hour, we decided on Fish & Co at The Glass House.

We came at the right time. Singapore 3 piece band, The Lost Box were performing and we enjoyed their covers. They even did a cover of the national day song, 'This is Home' which I thought they did a pretty decent cover and did justice to the song. I didn't manage to video that but I did capture a short video via Instagram.


The only part I felt really disgruntled was my food. It took over 40 minutes for my New York Fish & Chips to arrive. Herman ordered Barramundi Fish which came much earlier, so he wanted to wait out, by the time mine actually arrived, his was already cold! Poor chap!

But I had to give credit for the taste. It was good, albeit salty for both dishes, but it was good. I enjoyed my Lychee Mojito the most. Then again, anything mojito-fied can never go wrong. At least in my opinion. Told my Hunn that I will bring him here once he books out. I quote him, "Army men don't get such luxury." Yeah right.

What else happened? We talked about travels and photography. I didn't know he picked up photography over the years. There was also a nice shop at 313 which sells prints and I thought that was really cool. I spoke to him about how I feel depressed being fat but I didn't push any further. I'm not exactly ready to talk to anyone about me being fat. The journey to discovering yourself is not exactly the smoothest path. All you can do is hope that you have a great support system to ensure that you get the right start. So here's to catching up old times. Bring it on nostalgia. Bring it on.